I've realized I pity myself far too often, as well as many others do I'm sure. But, I don't want to focus on others when I'm only accountable for myself.
I find myself thinking, "Life is so hard." Hello? I'm 20. My parents are together, they help me pay for school, my grandparents are living and kind enough to let me live with them during the school year so my commute isn't so far, I have great friends, my health is good, what in the world do I have to complain about?
Part of this self-pity has to do with relativity. Comparative to others' lives, my life has been fairly "easy" without any struggles. At least that's what other people would see it as, and I would have to agree although my life has been far from perfect. But that doesn't mean I haven't been blessed. No one can expect their life to be perfect. But anyways, in relation to growing up and having an "easy" life, I tend to get overwhelmed easily I've realized. I used to think I could handle a lot going on at a time, but I've become a little less prideful and admitted I actually can't deal with as much going on at once as most people can. Last year during school I worked 5-10 hours a week, had 14 credit hours (granted, 7 hours of lab a week with those classes), and at times, I felt like I could die from stress. And most people would look at me and respond with, "Suck it up", which I would not be offended by.
And I guess I have no where I am heading with this blog, I just wanted to share a new perspective I've had. Part of it being that I start the nursing program this semester, and to be honest, I am terrified. It will be hard; I will probably cry; some concepts I will not understand; I may need to get extra help; I may need to sacrifice fun time to study more, but isn't this what I signed up for? Why would I complain when there are people heartbroken because they couldn't get in the program? I am blessed. I have such a great learning opportunity, and I'm very fortunate to have gotten accepted. But I have been choosing to ignore that and instead complain about how hard it will be. Suck it up and do it. If I don't want to do it, I don't have to. I could easily just quite and pick a different major. But, I would consider that as a failure. Not because I chose a different path, but because I let the degree of difficulty persuade me.
I hear people say, and I have said as well, regarding a school year, "I'm going to die this semester." I could scream at myself for saying that. Really? Could we be more dramatic? I'm pretty sure no one has ever died from school being hard. Quite the opposite... I have never not seen growth after a hard school semester. So shouldn't we count that as a blessing? Such ironic beings we are.... wanting wisdom, and strength, and knowledge, and skills, yet not wanting to do anything to attain them.
I hope this has maybe opened eyes to evaluating how you view things, and hopefully it will encourage you to make the best of everything difficult in life that comes your way.
Obviously this won't keep me from complaining, but the more aware I am that I do it for no reason, and the more people that can point out when I'm dramatic and encourage me to see it as a blessing, the better I will become at making the best of all difficulties I'm faced with.
