The Overflow Ramblings

This is a post for 2 reasons: 1. because I am discouraged by the many Christians I know who are not excited about God's love and 2. because I am overflowing with excitement, joy, and gratitude for what Jesus has done.

Every Christmas season the reality of what God brought us becomes sweeter to me. But, with the recent season I've went through and the new season I have just begun, I cannot think of any reason why Christians, followers of Christ, should not be beaming with love and joy! While I don't understand it, I have been there. I've been a Christian and not felt joyful, or peaceful, or thankful, or at all connected to the reality of what our Father God has done for us. Even in hindsight, I'm not quite sure how my attitude has shifted, but there is definitely one action on my part that has changed that could be the key. Worship.

This past year I've probably spent more of my quiet time just worshiping than I have in the prior 3 years all together. And it has made a HUGE impact on my relationship with God and my perspective of Jesus. I'm coming to realize that I used to try and have relationship through discipline. I would think, "Oh, if I can just read my Bible every day for at least 30 minutes, I will have a good relationship with God." And for me personally, I was being legalistic in my heart - thinking that a rule could make me righteous and would give me a "better" relationship with God, as if just spending time with Him wasn't enough, as if I had to be perfectly disciplined to be acceptable. 
As I began worshiping more in my quiet time, I found myself more aware throughout the day of the Holy Spirit and being in communication with God more. I found my perspective being aligned with His. I found that it was when I was worshiping and focusing solely on Him, that He would speak to me and tell me anything I needed to hear. I've realized when I just sit in His presence and soak it in, He shows me how much more love He has to give that I can't even comprehend. 

Jesus is so good. And I'm discouraged by the many Christians I see living in bondage to discipline, rules, others' opinions, or simply their own fear. Satan has taken too much ground... He is NOT that powerful. He is NOT strong. Let's shout in his face how much bigger Jesus is! I want to see followers of Christ being free in who God made them, free in expression of their love for Him, and free to love and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. And if you're struggling, I'd encourage you to spend time in worship - spend time dwelling on who God is and who Jesus is. I promise it will become more amazing each time. Father God has offered us complete freedom - too great a gift for Christians to be living in fear and therefore being self-focused, instead of sharing and loving on others. 

Worship Me In The Secret Place

This week was rough for me spiritually, and I couldn't figure out why. I was struggling a lot yet I was reading my Bible, praying, and spending time in God's presence daily. Yesterday and today were wonderful, but to be honest, I'm not sure what turned it around; I didn't change anything.
Most of the time, people will say if you're struggling spiritually, "Well, God hasn't moved so it must be you." I'm not quite sure that was what happened this week though. From the bottom of my heart I can sincerely say I hadn't moved from God and back to Him. But one thing I do know is this: it is righteous for us to worship Him when we don't feel like it. It is right for us to worship Him when we don't have the energy. It is right for us to worship Him just because it delights His heart. It is right for us to sing to Him because He is good. After we've gone through difficult times yet we've still worshiped Him just the same as if we were high on life, He does a transformation in us that cannot be achieved any other way.
Today I was worshiping on my own and I just heard God say, "Worship me in the secret place." Initially, I kind of though, "Well, I am right now God?" But then I just heard it over and over anyways. It is vital to our spiritual life that we worship Him in our own private time. There is a spiritual wall that is broken down when we worship God full-out when no one else is around. It delights Him. He desires for us to desire Him. He longs for us to want to worship Him and please Him. We weren't called to be Christians that worship God on Sunday mornings only. Yes, we worship God in all that we do if we're obeying Him, but there is a release in singing to Him in the secret place. There's a connection and a spiritual strength He gives when we desire to worship Him when we're alone. So I'd challenge you, if you don't already do this, worship God in the secret place; give Him your attention and your affection when no one else is around. And tell Him how good and how beautiful He is.

Lord, What Have We Done?

*The following is a writing that was on my heart after reading a few chapters in The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. Of the complaints I have, please know I am not considering myself blameless in the slightest. I know I'm imperfect and do some of the very things I'm rejecting here, but I believe in God's grace to forgive me and show me when I'm wrong. I won't ever be perfect. I hope this will not be something to make people feel guilty, but will rather be an encouragement to be more like Jesus! 

Lord, what have we done?
Seeing and mocking those who don't know You - those who are lost
Not with direct slander, but with subtle comments and the absence of love in our hearts
People will excuse themselves, but You will not

No, it's never okay to even make a representation of someone should it come out as if they're inferior
And Satan, with great success, has convinced the church that if we don't make direct comments or don't hurt their feelings, then it's okay, it's just "the truth"

But the truth is Jesus never called anyone out or spoke poorly of them
And rather than just allowing them to shamefully enter the church,
He sought them out
Lord, what have we done?

We argue and debate theology before ever doing the Great Commission
We hand out tracks before we hand out food and judge a person's appearance before simply realizing they  need to see You
Lord, what have we done?

When selecting our leaders, we judge their past before we examine their hearts, completely disregarding that you call us a new creation in Christ
Lord, what have we done?

Let us not turn from or later verbalize our disgust - instead let us go to the drunkard, the idolater, and every outsider with love and compassion and mercy and grace
Let us not allow our brothers and sisters in Christ to behave in these ways - that we wouldn't judge one another in our hearts but confront one another with love
Let us not reach the end of our life and regrettably utter, Lord, what have we done?

Tristen

Today Jameson and I went to the park, and I made a new friend. His name is Tristen. He is 3 years old, but he told me proudly, "I'll be 4 in September!"
Children amaze me. Their joy, their openness, and the freedom they have to be themselves.
The reason I decided to play with my new friend tonight was because he was by himself with his grandpa, and I figured it'd be more fun for him if he had someone to play with. We were sitting by a hill and he began walking up the big stairs by himself. I said, "Can I climb up the stairs with you?" He replied without hesitation, "Sure!" And that's where our friendship began.
Why can't adults be that way? Why are we so judgmental before even knowing a person or have preconceived notions about what they'll be like? I know I'm not perfect at this either, but it's worth working on and admitting that it needs work.
Tristen and I would walk up the stairs and then roll down the hill in the grass. Over and over. He didn't get tired of it. Then we took turns chasing each other's shadows. After that, we worked together to "attack" Jameson.
And something about a child allows you to be free... to be yourself, without fearing judgment. There is an acceptance children offer. You can be yourself; you can be silly; you can let your imagination run wild; and you can be free.
When it was time to go, Tristen didn't want to leave. He fought with his "Papa." To help since I felt slightly responsible, I asked him to race me to the truck. Eventually my new friend said bye without a pouty face, but instead with a smile. He told me they go to the park every week and he wants us to play together a lot there.
One of my goals, or at least strives in life, is to pursue a childlike attitude and perspective. Always. I want to have joy unaffected by others' pessimism; imagination not hindered by the possibility of appearing foolish; innocence untouched despite a corrupt world; forgiveness without exceptions; and love for others that knows no bounds.

Confusing Callings

The worst feeling is knowing what God has told you to do and feeling like you misheard or misrepresented Him. You know, those times when God has very clearly told you to do something or shared something with you, and when you share it, people think you're absolutely ridiculous? That's okay. It is definitely a struggle when you have no support for something you know God has clearly told you. There are even times when other Christians don't support you, disregarding the fact that you heard it from God. Which seems quite ironic when you think about it... that those who hold the same beliefs as you would look at you like you're crazy when you share what God has told you to do or what He's shared with you. And it's always discouraging. Those people, the ones who believe and trust in the same God, don't accept that you've been told something. That has always made me question if it was right. "Well, if my Christian family and friends don't think this is what God wants for me, is this what He really told me?" But, God is showing me we should question others' opinions before we question what God has told us. 

I've been reading in Exodus. If you don't know the background, the Israelites are slaves to the Egyptians. The Israelites had been crying for help. 

Years passed, and the king of Egypt died. But the Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act. Exodus 2:23-25

God then reveals to Moses that He will set the Israelites free from the Egyptians, and Moses is the one God is going to send to Pharaoh and the one who will lead the Israelites out of Egypt. After a conversation with God about not feeling qualified, Moses is going to do what the Lord has asked of him. Moses and Aaron go to Pharaoh and tell Pharaoh that the Lord has commanded he let the Israelites go, but Pharaoh refuses. 

Now onto how this relates to what I began with:

It isn't surprising that Pharaoh refuses to let the Israelites go (1. because he wouldn't have slaves and 2. because God already decided to harden his heart {Exodus 4:21}), but what is surprising is that the Israelites are not even supportive of Moses. I would assume the Israelites would be ecstatic and supportive if God told Moses He would set the Israelites free. But they aren't. In Exodus 5:21, the Israelite foremen said to Moses and Aaron, "May the Lord judge and punish you for making us stink before Pharaoh and his officials. You have put a sword into their hands, an excuse to kill us!" To me that's a little harsh for someone who is trying to save them. 

So Moses returns to God and asks why... Moses is looking for reassurance for what the Lord has told him. And God, so patiently, repeats to Moses what He is going to do and assures Moses that he will lead the Israelites out of Egypt. 

Moses, like us, brings up to God the fact that no one is supporting him. Even those who will benefit from what God is going to do through him aren't supporting him. Moses says in 6:12, "But Lord! My own people won't listen to me anymore. How can I expect Pharaoh to listen? I'm such a clumsy speaker!" So on top of not having any support, Moses is awful at public speaking. 

God sometimes calls us to things we aren't necessarily ready to do and sometimes without any support. We have to be ready to be strong in the Lord and do what He says despite other people. Our support is God's voice and assurance in what He's told us. And like Moses, maybe in the world's eyes we aren't even qualified to do what God has asked of us. But, I've heard this quote before and I agree with it: "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." (In my opinion, it's better that way because it's easier to stay humble when we don't feel adequate.)

You won't always have the support and encouragement from family and friends when God asks something "big" or "extreme" of you. But what is most important is that you're assured in your heart of what the Lord has asked and that you're faithful to it. Don't let the environment or circumstances around you change what you know you heard God speak. He is faithful to our obedience, and He always does what He promises when we hold up our end of the bargain. 

Don't be afraid to stand alone. God is standing there with you if He told you to do it, and He will walk with you through it which is better than having any person for support. 

The Wind & The Waves

Recently I've been going through a phase in my life where God is teaching me not to surrender to fear and worry - like truly to give it up to Him in a practical way. He's showing me I do have an active role in order to get rid of fear in my life. It has not been easy, and I haven't always succeeded, but there is grace, mercy, and freedom in the Cross.

We're told in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
God, through Paul, wasn't simply suggesting, "Hey, I think life might be a little better if you don't worry but pray instead." When I read this, I see it more as a command. Do not be anxious about anything. By prayer and petition, present your requests to God. I think we (Christians) often complicate trying not to "worry" and act like it's a sin, and then we act so troubled thinking, "Oh, I need to work on not worrying. I'm not really there yet." The solution is clear to me: When you're worrying, pray. It doesn't matter if you feel like praying or believe it will make a difference. God is faithful to our actions of obedience when we feel faithless. I've been learning in my own experience that even when I don't feel like praying when I'm worried, when I do, God is always faithful to give me peace simply because I'm trying to obey Him and surrender my fears.

It'd be a lot easier to not worry if we didn't have things to worry about, right? If life were just simpler. Well, God being as wonderful as He is, gave us a solution for that too. In Matthew 14, Jesus is walking on water towards the disciples in the boat. Peter says to Jesus in verse 28, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water." So in response Jesus tells him to come. If you're familiar with the story, you know that Peter looked away from Jesus, got terrified, started to sink, and then Jesus reached out to grab him. In verse 30, it specifically says what distracted Peter from Jesus: "But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink." 
I'm going to present this more as a metaphor to our lives, but I believe it to be completely relevant to this passage. Because Peter looks at the wind and the waves, he failed to see the One who would bring him through it. Our eyes cannot be focused on 2 different things - unless you're really talented. But realistically, it's not possible. We cannot be looking at how I'm going to pay this bill, how I'm going to get food, how I'm going to fix this relationship, etc. We must focus on Jesus. And to do that, we have to intentionally take our eyes off of distractions, stare straight ahead at Jesus and keep walking. That is the only way to make it through the wind and the waves. When people say, "If God led you to it, He'll lead you through it," I believe that to be true, but only if we're focused on Him and not how we're going to overcome the circumstances.
Faith shall be our substance to walk on.
Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." 
Peter wasn't walking on any tangible substance that would keep him afloat. His faith and fixation on Jesus was his substance that kept him from sinking.

I'm not saying I've mastered fixing my eyes on Jesus, but learning this lesson requires a constant battle against distraction. It must be intentional on our part to pray, and ask, when we're filled with fear, worry, or doubt. And God will be faithful.
Matthew 21:22 "You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it."




For those of you interested, God has shown me all of this through a sermon I was listening to. The essence of the message wasn't about prayer in anxiousness, but it was focused on faith and asking. If you're interested in listening, the link is http://sermon.net/newdaysc/sermonid/2411550 It should be titled, "How (and when) to walk on water". 

It Hated Me First

I am not on this Earth for my own benefit. I could not have put myself here. It was God-ordained, which means He has a purpose for me. A purpose I must surrender to because the only value I have is in doing what I was made for, which is being used by God. 
I must be willing to sacrifice my own desires, dreams, friendships, time, and passions. Pursuing any of my own will leave me empty and dissatisfied because I won't have done what I was made for. Now, the actual practice of this reality is quite new to me. I've known it, I've heard it, and I've thought I understood it. But recently God has shown me there's much more to surrender. 
I seek comfort. I seek acceptance. Two things that do not come from being bold for Christ. 
"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you" John 15:18-19
If I am hated, it will be from being a light. Light exposes all darkness. So if I am hated because Christ shines through me exposing all filth and evil, then let me be hated.