Maturity in Relationships

I can say no to God. He can say no to me. And we can still love each other the same. No, I'm not recommending disobedience. I'm trying to express this new found freedom in relationship. We've all heard that we should have relationship with God, but how many people actually operate out of that? I'd guess not very many. Instead we pray to God as if we're reading off a checklist and He's some distant person that we owe for giving us salvation. But, we don't operate this way because we want to. We just don't know another way. 

Recently I've been reading the book Boundaries by Dr.'s Cloud and Townsend, and today I read a chapter that talks about boundaries between myself and God. It was enlightening and thought-provoking. They presented the same idea I did above (except more intellectually and thoroughly). We are in relationship with God. Now, some of our conflicts in relationship with Him have more than likely come from imperfect human relations. For example, if we have experienced, whether one deeply impacting instance or a culture of encounters, abandonment or punishment when we expressed our "no" to someone, we will naturally be fearful of telling God no simply because we'll assume subconsciously that God will either abandon us, or He'll punish us for saying no. God will do neither of these. As I said before, I'm not condoning disobedience, we can rest assured if we tell God "no" about something, He's promised "I will never leave you, nor forsake you," and He won't punish us. Unfortunately, most of us have experienced someone who has withdrawn their love or the relationship entirely when we expressed our boundaries through telling them "no." And as a result, we've falsely attributed that characteristic to God: that He will leave us and not be our Friend or Father if we tell Him no. While it's true He won't leave or punish us, I do believe He'll let us deal with the consequences of our decision whether good or bad. One example the authors gave of this was the prodigal son. His father gave him his inheritance, respected his "no", let him suffer the consequences of his decision, but lovingly welcomed him home when he returned. This son was honest with his father, and his father respected that. On the other hand, the other son said yes to his father, but it is clear that his heart said no because he was angry. He was dishonest with his father rather than being sincere in expressing how he truly felt. Honesty is always the best policy in relationship. 

On the flip side, God is allowed to tell us no. He told Jesus no when Jesus asked if there was any other way for Him to die and bring salvation to the world. When God tells us no, we need the maturity, as in any relationship, to accept His boundary and yet not become angry with Him. He has the right, as well as we all do, to say no and draw a line for Himself. 

I could go on and on about this concept. There is so much freedom in relationship when people (or God) have the maturity to accept no and say no. It brings life and security to the friendship. If you can't say no, I'd encourage you to practice. If you can't accept no from someone, I'd encourage you to work on that also. Life is a process, and I'm still learning and growing in both!